our happy time together
大好週末，秋末的雨絲灑在冷冽的空氣中，睡飽了的大腦前所未有的醒著。上地鐵的時候，滿腦子想著，我還欠著學生的債：她問我有什麼書可以推薦，要有思想的。這是半個月前問的，我還沒回應，貌似這個問題屢次被問過，每次我都會自動忽視然後給忘記了——其實只是藏在不知大腦的哪個角落。
書這種東西——就跟其他任何東西一樣，是很難被推薦的。它長什麼樣子，在很大程度上還取決於你的腦袋、你的心情、你接觸它的時機與環境，以及無數的不可測因素，比如你的閱讀受誰的影響。大學時上過一門課，the introduction of western literature，大概是這樣的名字吧，讀了十來篇的短篇小說，包括James Joyce 的Araby, 福克納的a rose for Emily, 海明威的一篇講小酒店中的兩個男人（小偷？）的對話等等。上課的嚴鋒是個很愛炫的中年男人，老忍不住要炫耀一下他的牛津英語，慢慢地朗讀小說，同時慢條斯理地講著極精彩的課——我迄今還是記得他講海明威的“Nothing”與存在主義，記得他講卡夫卡筆下那位飢餓的藝術家如何在動物園中一天天地被看死。那個時候的光華樓剛建成，課程好像在星期三，是下午的課——午飯後的課堂，照例是該沉沉欲睡的時間，端賴一種無聊而偉大的遊戲，使一切精彩的東西不至於就這樣被我睡過去了：俄羅斯方塊是這堂課的最佳佐料。嚴鋒慢條斯理而深入的精彩講授，加上俄羅斯方塊緊張但不需動腦的提神效果，才可能讓我稍微一窺這些牛逼哄哄的作家的精彩之處——否則，說真的，你覺得喬伊斯的現代小說真的是一般人欣賞得來的嗎？反正我是不相信Ulysses這種小說是我能看得下去的，但戴從容的講授還是讓我陶醉了一個學期。
閒扯了這麼多，都是在為復旦中文系做廣告。言歸正傳，回到有思想的書這個問題來。是這樣的，我覺得沒有東西是沒思想的，瘋子有瘋子的世界，有最少十年的時間，我最愛看的一直是言情小說作家席絹的書。所以，以下的分享純乎個人趣味，標準很簡單也很苛刻：它們自動從我腦袋裡蹦出來，並且日久彌新地證明自己的深刻與精彩。
1、曹雪芹：《紅樓夢》，任何版本，評點本更佳。
還需要說它嗎？它可以言說嗎？ 愛它的奉為聖經，不屑它的避之唯恐不及。“滿紙荒唐言，一把辛酸淚”，據說老年人讀此書更有體會。我愛它是從<好了歌>的基調進去的，整本書的佛道思想瀰漫了我的青春期，直到研究生後，才開始懂得欣賞它細膩真實的心理情緒刻畫。再到晚來接觸了湯顯祖的《牡丹亭》與《南柯夢》，才慢慢地理解這個文學傳統與哲學：那是在意識到這個世界的一無所有，才從新一草一木地去感受它們的存在價值。本來空空如也的世界，是因為人類情感的不忍與執著，才構成了這個有情世界。（郜元寶在窗邊吸著煙，講著魯迅，說：沒有愛，這個世界何以可能？）ps, 我一直覺得，中國的儒釋道思想，是我們現代人經歷存在主義經驗時的最佳思想對話者。
2、（奧地利）茨威格：《昨日的世界：一個歐洲人的回憶》。
比起最少要十年才能讀懂的《紅樓夢》，這本書才是我的第一推薦書目。我讀的是舒善昌翻譯的三聯本，買過最少三本，就是它的排版極丑，紙張也超爛，現在不知是否有新版本。不過，它的英文翻譯本the day of yesterday也極容易閱讀。儘管茨威格是以歷史人物傳記與短篇小說創作名聞世界，但我最愛的還是他臨死的這本自傳。第一次讀它是在大學，去年春節回家做頭髮的時候，我又第n次讀它，依然精彩無比。星光熠熠的歐洲文明史，這是茨威格描述他的維也納青少年時期的激情文字所顯示的，這種文明如何被兩次世界大戰摧毀，最終使他對人類絕望而自殺於巴西。茨威格夫婦的絕望與自殺實在不難理解，書中寫它在第一次世界大戰之後的十年中，看到世界從瘋狂的廢墟中一步步地重新走向繁榮，他欣喜無比，以為終究人類的愛與理智永存，可是，沒想到之後再次爆發了更為瘋狂的第二次大戰。人類會更好嗎？如果從歷史看，實在很難對這種動物產生信心。是很有象征意義的。他自稱世界主義者、人道主義者，當二次世界大戰爆發前，歐洲國家陷入彼此仇恨的情緒中，他與羅曼羅蘭試圖在瑞士組織歐洲各國文學家發起愛與和平的聯盟——當然，結果可想而知。比起丘吉爾的《二次世界大戰回憶錄》，這本書典型地體現了文學家與政治歷史家的差別：前者看到的世界是心靈的世界。The history is about what happen ,while the poetry is on what should be。 去年電影《布達佩斯飯店》推出後，我看了它——啊，我還是更偏愛文字。
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