這麼近，那麼遠
那麼長的糾結中，只用文字記下了這麼少的幾個鏡頭。而今縱然一切依然栩栩如生，卻已無從說起。
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Spanish Guitar2013-06-17
見不到你的今日，我還是平靜歡欣地去跟朋友吃了飯、然後一個人去聽了音樂會，帶著昨晚留下的滿身疲憊。這一年來，每次看到中環夜景，就會想到去年第一次跟你吃飯後的散步，從那時起，這個城市逐步充滿了你的存在，並漸漸真實起來。今晚也是如此。晚上的白雲悠悠然地飄過去，IFC似乎要朝我倒過來。
這是我第一次聽吉他演奏會，一位西班牙演奏家，似乎譽滿全球。今年69歲，半個世紀前，就跟他爸爸、以及兩位弟兄組成了家族吉他演奏組合，很有趣，不是嗎？不過，去之前，我只期待它能放鬆我的疲憊，忘掉你片刻，甚至入睡。可惜，今晚觀眾反映太熱烈，每首曲子奏完都響起雷鳴般的掌聲。當然，他很棒，指法快得猶如無影手，用到了許多吉他彈奏技巧——雖然我全然不懂吉他，曲子也是一首都沒聽過，但某些時刻，他還是把我帶到了西班牙的街頭小巷的某個角落，風飄在陽光中，叮叮咚咚的聲音從他面前的碗飄出來。謝幕估計謝了十次以上，還ENCORE了四首曲子，是我在香港所看的幾十場演出中，反應最熱烈的一次。可惜你沒來——來了估計也跟我一樣困，但也許，你會有興趣看各種場景？
ENCORE的最後一首，是演奏者的爸爸為他媽媽所譜的第一首樂曲。我實在不是太浪漫的人，但若有人也如此為我做點什麽、或者我也為誰做點什麽，想像起來，確實是莫大的幸福——不過，這好像不是你的風格，至於我，好像也就只能期盼為你做飯。真是煞風景。三年前的國慶晚上，也是在中環大會堂，一個人去聽了我最愛的交響樂曲。結束之後，在地鐵站看到了一對老夫妻，相依扶進地鐵，口裡還哼著剛演奏的旋律，這一幕也一直存留在我腦袋。
兩個人的相處有很多種模式，只要誠心摯意，甘之如飴，就是最幸福的伴侶。這些生活中的美好時刻，並不見得都要同時經歷——並且，我以為，也很難真的完全理解共鳴——我不在意這些，生活比這個豐富得多。可是，無論我多麼欣賞喜歡你，如果沒有絲毫讓你欣賞喜歡，又何從開始？
觀眾席中，有一位男生，對著演奏，笑得乾淨溫暖，讓人看著舒心。可是，我卻總忘不了你低著頭露出的笑，嘲諷卻又包容，恍如永遠是個世界旁觀者。真的太能想像了，其實，我老記不起你的臉。
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