學生L打來電話，語調興奮：“Miss,我找到工作了！”
楞了一會兒後，我終於反應過來，心裏一塊石頭稍微落地。這一年多來，總是很怕接到她的電話，這是第二次有好消息，上一次是她跟我說她能走路了，但後來很快又惡化，重新坐到輪椅上。
L是小腦萎縮癥患者，這個病癥經<一公升的眼淚>浸洗之後，相信很多人都不陌生，至於我，以及身邊的一群朋友，卻在更早的一次殘酷事件後，得知這是種沒有明天的病。沒有明天，哦，這是校長把我叫進辦公室跟我說：“以後你來當L的班主任”後，我的第一想法。此後，每次對著輪椅上的L，我心裏總壓不住這個念頭，不知道要跟她說些什麽，講海倫·凱勒的勵志故事嗎？我只能微笑著對她，聽著坐在輪椅上的她描述各種各樣的折磨。
這些用言語呈現的病痛與心理折磨，在教她的前一年，我已在一個羸弱的男生的作文裏面看過。比起坐輪椅的她，這個男孩表面上看起來稍微幸運，只是截了一條腿，還能撐著拐杖，背著沉重的書包，一拐一拐風雨無阻地上學。他患的是另外一種絕癥，作文裏面總是充斥著血腥的手術場面，與此相伴的，是各種的掙扎、自我鼓勵或者求救。我常常只能對這些聲音做一些無關痛癢的回應，無能無力。
無能無力地看著他們，這大概是我三年之內與他們相處的心態。有時L會興奮地拉著我到大廳，彈奏《夢中的婚禮》給我聽；或者朗誦一首英文詩，聲情並茂；而更多時候，都是推著她的電動輪椅，在午飯時間來教職員辦公室，找我傾訴，或者向我請假回家。教L的兩年之內，其實大概只見到她一年的時光，另外一年，她都請假在家，或者直接進醫院了。這已是我能接受、甚至期盼的最好情況。最怕是突然有老師或者學生跑來：你班XXX又暈倒了，或者找不到XXX了。出現這種情況，總是一陣的兵荒馬亂，打電話叫救護車，或者動員學生四處尋找，並且，繼續無能為力。現在已經不太記得第一次處理她暈倒時的恐慌了。倒是其中有一次，也是在這樣陰冷的冬天早晨，沒吃早飯的她熱量太低，體力不支，休克昏迷過去。等救護車時，我只能握著她冰冷的雙手，看著她嘴唇漫漫泛青以至變白，怎麼叫也不回應。
這樣的場面後來竟然被習慣了。有些苦痛看得太多，情感回應也就那樣了，真正解決問題的是讓我敬佩萬分的醫院救護隊。他們總是在第一時間趕來，耐心地安撫或者查看L，把她由教室或者醫務室搬到救護車，再送到醫院，一個月或者幾個月後，再重複一遍這樣的行程。二年之內，這樣不斷地重複，他們對L，卻始終像我見到的第一次那樣耐心、專業。有時候我會很功利市儈地想：這樣不計成本的看護，難得他們能幾年如一日。
這種小人之心，是因為在小人橫行的環境下長大所致？或許在這個城市，所謂看護無外乎就是工作職責與專業行為，至於政府的公幣，本來就是用在這些地方的？跟救護人員一樣持之以恆的還有社工，幾年內，他們不斷地到醫院探病，與L的父母協調溝通，再到後來，也是他們幫L找到了現在第一份工作，甚至，還帶她參加野外訓練營，學習潛水！這讓我想起第一年到香港，看到地鐵或者街上有很多智力低下的人士，心裡暗暗奇怪：香港怎麼那麼多非正常人士？似乎在大陸沒怎麼見過？再後來想想，大概在大陸，他們會直接被安放在家裡、或者相關機構，因為不友好的公共設施或者社會環境。
我問L：“工作了一星期，開心嗎？同事怎麼樣？”
她說：“很開心，這裡的同事都特別好，帶我吃吃喝喝。”
“那你怎麼上班？”
“就用電動輪椅搭乘巴士啊。”接著她又調侃，“掛完電話，你可不要高興得哭了起來。”
其實我離一切已經太久了，想哭也哭不起來，高興倒是真的。活得比誰的不容易的她，能得到適當的接納與肯定，才能治愈她各種精神上的疾病——雖然肉體的折磨也許會繼續延續。我想起很多年前，有個男同學看完了《一公升的眼淚》說：要是現實中有個女孩真的得了這種病，如果她有女主角那麼漂亮，我也願意照顧。可是，生活不是童話，哪有那麼多漂亮的公主？
她說：“Miss，我寫了一本書，想請你寫序。”
我說：“你應該請XXX老師”。那真是一位讓我由衷佩服的蠟燭型老師。但是，對於所有人、特別是這些艱難的弱勢者，沒有任何人能真正庇護他們到永遠，比起一切蠟燭型的奉獻，或者（如果他們足夠漂亮或者英俊？）那些願意照料他們的人，一個健康的社會生存環境才是真正的出路。
她說：“我最高興的是，他們不介意我坐輪椅，願意請我工作。”
“這樣明天你比較有期待吧？”
“是啊！”
希望這樣的時光能延續。
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