雜記

(一)

每次假期回家,特別是逢到過年時節,都在提醒我已離開這裡太久,久到再也回不來了。同學會是個太好的窗口,在每一次的碰杯中,我都只能靦腆或者千篇一律地向上扯嘴皮。晉江的經濟騰飛了所有敢于闖蕩的人,同時,也扯開了無數張的網。快到三十嵗了,算起來,我們正在逐步接過這個社會,商界或者政界。大家都知道,這意味著什麽。在幅員廣闊的大地上,不管人口如何衆多,只要你具備足夠的膽量、野心以及能力,其實總可以攫取到資源,特別是在山高皇帝遠的地方。看著一張張越發志得意滿的臉,我只能感謝今日的安康,並期盼未來的每一日,社會中的人人都能如此志得意滿。

今天,我再次問自己:是否該慶幸我沒在這個圈中漂轉?對此,依然沒有答案。世界要走向哪裏,沒有人知道。從今往後,我將看著它。

 

(二)

晚上偷偷帶著奶奶去看戯。92嵗的她與29嵗的我,繞了半個村子走向廟口。幾盞路燈不時地從角落裏射出光芒,所以並不至於黑燈瞎火,村路已修得硬實,高跟鞋敲在上面,與奶奶的拐杖一起,發出篤篤的聲響,飄蕩在寒風中。奶奶走得很慢,兩公里不到的路程走了二十分鈡有餘,走過老舊的曾經的祖房以及祠堂,再經過雜草叢生的小巷,偶爾也經過幾幢高聳的洋房,我已經好多年沒從村中央經過了,已然是陌生人。

戲演得很好,不愧是市級專業劇團。劇本一貫的老套,但演員很鄉土、親切,倒也趣味十足,現場笑成一片。幾十個老弱婦孺中,我依舊是現場惟一的青年。這麽愚蠢的劇本,只能吸引這些無知的老年婦女,縱然如此,它曾經在這片土地上,引起過多少人的喜怒哀樂。至於從今往後,誰知道從今往後呢?

 

(三)

送奶奶回家時,站在院子門口看著她入房口。穿得圓滾滾的她,在拐杖的支持下,拖著腳步,擦著地面往前去。擔心二伯尚未回家,本已走到方口的她又摸著牆壁,四處查看房門。

一輩子堅強無比的奶奶,大概沒想過自己已經算是高齡老人了,依舊如此操心這個家人以及鄉里睦鄰。我知道自己的堅強也是從血液中流出來的,不見得就是那兩本書的效力。只是,就算我回得多勤快,每年能回家幾次?

在這個時代,我畢竟已得到了太多,當然,也付出不少。人生也只能如此,別無它計。

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