完美或偉大,都只是偶然的幸運,平庸才是常態。
惟有認識並接受這個現實,才能真正地同情理解每一個個體的存在,也才能發自肺腑地去讚賞平凡中的每一個閃光、每一份力量。
那些如同造物主一般偉大的創造者,你簡直不知道他們如何造出了那麼個精彩絕倫的世界。空曠的圖書館中,紅色的沙發配著白色的桌椅,陽光透過玻璃屋頂閃鋪滿了一室的寧靜,這個時候,腦子不由自主地跳出“天朗氣清,惠風和暢”這八個字,又想起當年站在《蘭亭序》摹本前的那份心蕩神搖,心裡庸俗地算了一下:拿一千萬、一億、十億來讓這個藝術品從來沒有在人世間出現過,值得嗎?當然不!再龐大的書目,離開了這個時空,它們都只是無意義的數目;而沒有了《道德經》、李白、貝多芬或莎士比亞的人間,沒有了牛頓、愛因斯坦或康德的世界,貧瘠而無生氣。
在他們之前存在的世界、以及一直活在他們光芒之外的人們,不都各自燦爛地綻放嗎?也許是這樣的。在沒見過他們之前,你可能也不覺得世界少了什麼,但是一旦他們來過,你再也不能想象沒有的照射。
可是,這些偉大的藝術或思想,他們只是以神一般的存在闖入了我們的生活—-至於作為人的創作者,我們還是得把他們當人看,承認他們作為凡人的種種平庸。哦,這真不容易。孱弱的我們,需要的是偉大的勵志故事,他們建構伊甸園完成了我們對完美的諸多嚮往;一旦發現平庸的無所不在,就必須由我們自己來當上帝——或者一起平庸地活著。
說了這麼多,我只是要感慨做出好的研究或者在世界上實現所謂的成功,是件多麼不容易的事。面對浩如煙海的文獻與文字,與面對紛繁複雜的世界一樣,我們簡直無所立足不知從哪裡開始。附庸於經典之下的研究,就猶如朝著燈塔游過去的黑暗旅程,艱難但總是有方向;然而如果目力所及都不過是跟你一樣的彷徨者,我們簡直不知該如何。我還未能有足夠的勇氣與能力,以一種見多識廣、居高臨下的態度,對這個世界做準確或妄意的判斷。
而我也還沒能有足夠的慈悲與柔情,去與種種的瑣碎與平庸相處。這大概是為何我更願意見到光芒四射的人,而非彷徨的失意者。a little more tender, a little more elegant. 當野田妹彈奏鋼琴曲的時候,大師這樣說。
在這個世界上,無論在甚麼領域,要活得比平庸哪怕只是好上一點點,都必須付出超乎想象的努力。——腦力總是不夠,但卻必須一直努力運行下去,這也是新近讓我好悲傷卻必須承認的事實。
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